a model, idiot. (read that in zoolander's voice)

yes, that is me riding a horse.
you are looking at the fresh new face of idaho travel.
i am super embarassed /slash/ this is hilarious.

i was joke-posing because roberta had started snapping pictures of me...
(you know how we do reneer's)
and now she has sold the picture and it will appear in this ad for one year in travel magazines.
hahahahaha.
i'm a model.

i must take a moment to praise roberta yet again for how awesome she is. (she took all those pictures).
not only are here pics appearing in this ad, but the college bought a bunch to blow up and display throughout the new huge building on campus.
(they did not select the one of me on the horse, however).
i could not be prouder if i had taken the pictures myself.

you're the bomb roberta... can't wait to see you in 1 1/2 days!

chestnuts roasting on an open fire... (read that how kenny sings it)

i know it's been a while. it seems like i only want to blog when i'm super high or super low. (manic or depressive- ha). so i've been trying to hold out for a good mood (cause i've had plenty of bad ones). and guess what? i'm feeling pretty good right now!

here are the haps on the craps:

i have been so so busy at work, which is so good moneywise, but pretty stressful every way elsewise. i can't complain though. i have a really good job, and i'm so grateful.

i am so excited for christmas break of not teaching seminary! i can't wait to sleep in... i have been so tired. i can tell the kids are so tired too. we all need a break i think. we have one more day of normal class and then friday we are having a big breakfast at my house. this is becoming a little tradition we do before breaks. it is a lot of cooking that i do by myself, but the kids love it, so it's worth it. it is the only day that they are all on time :)

kenny came over for dinner last night. he has always made my heart hurt cause i love him so much, and i'm so glad we live so close. we actually get together at one of our houses pretty regularly. kenny always picks the menu... we had delicious salmon, asparaugus and rice, with mom's fruit cocktail and garlic bread... and we watched it's a wonderful life (his choice) by the light of the christmas tree and fireplace. cozy. kenny is such a little boy in his heart. he usually brings sophia (who is the yummiest), but he didn't last night because he had a meeting with his advisor at UNR. i am so proud of him and excited for him. he is starting classes in january, and will be taking a full load for the next 1-2 years to finish with his teaching certificate. he wants to teach high school history and coach. he will be amazing at both. also a bonus: when he starts school he'll be coming to our house a lot more and maybe even crashing here one night a week. good good stuff.

i am so excited for christmas! we are going to idaho for 1 to 1.5 weeks and i can't wait. going back to idaho is like going back to a cozy little comfort zone. i can't explain it right, but when i go to the boice's i want to move in to their spare bedroom and never leave. all seven kids in ty's family will be there for christmas which hasn't happened in quite a while and we are all staying in a HUGE "cabin" together christmas eve and christmas night. so fun. get ready for some family pictures!

i am also looking forward to seeing movies in the movie theatre. it seems the only time i have to do this anymore is when i'm on vacation. my top two are harry potter (no, i have not yet seen it) and true grit. i can't wait for true grit. the original is one of my family favorites.

can i just brag about my husband for a minute? don't worry, i don't do it very often- ha. he has just been the best husband lately. i'm kinda obsessed with him. or real in love with him. i have been so stressed and sick and busy and overworked and tired..... and he has been wonderful.  when i'm freaking out he asks what i'm stressed about and asks what he can do to help. he says things like, 'don't worry about the dishes, i'll do them. i'll put in laundry, so don't think about that. why don't you go get in bed so you're not tired.' he brings me things, he does whatever i ask him. it's great. he is so supportive. i love being home with my little family of tyler and dottie. everything seems okay when we're together. the other night i had a breakdown and was sobbing on tyler, and he just soothes me and tells me everything is alright, and then he makes me laugh, and it doesn't seem so bad. he's my best friend.

poor dottie is a ziggy piggy. she's on a diet, but everyone keeps making fun of her. kenny says she's going to have 'alligator legs' by the next time he sees her.

okay, that's all for now.
in case i don't post again before christmas....
Merry Christmas!!!!

pretty tahoe pictures and my pretty puppy and a pretty big accomplishment

i dare you to tell me that dottie is not the cutest thing in the whole wide world. just kidding, cause if you tell me that i won't like you anymore. but seriously, she's beautiful and i love her. these first couple pics are courtesy of roberta, when they were here visiting. amazing pictures. tyler and i were dying and trying to pick which one of dottie we are going to blow up and frame. we're infertile... give us a break.

okay from here down is the big accomplishment that i have yet to blog about. tyler and i climbed mt. tallac a couple weeks ago. for those of you who don't know, it's real real hard. you basically climb up the face of a mountain. and i'm talking a tahoe mountain. i grew up hiking, but i never thought i could or would do tallac. and i did it!! i was so so proud of myself, but also couldn't walk for like 2 days after. i was on a 'i can do anything' high for like a week after. it was awesome. and for some reason the pics look blurry- but you get the idea.

on the way down, which you would think would be easy, but is so hard!

one of the two lakes on the way up.

this is the mountain we climbed to
the top of.

this is at the top... there are a million chipmunks that are not afraid of people and dottie was going nuts... notice ty's death grip on her. she literally would have jumped off the cliff to get one.

view from the top. b-e-a-utiful.

'merry christmas from the boice's!' there... now you all got our card.

this snuck in at the bottom.

ps- we are so excited cause cortney and ashley and fam are coming this week!! i blog it and it happens- yay! so i better get cleaning and washing sheets.

happy birthday to my mom

today is my mom's birthday... and incidentally it is also the anniversary of my baptism 20 years ago. i miss my mom, but i am not sad today. it is a deliciously cozy day. cloudy and on and off rainy. it has been amazing rainy/thunder/lightning weather the last couple of days and i am in heaven. i love love it. there is almost nothing i love more in this world than a thunder and lightning storm.
i feel so happy. you might think this is strange considering that i am on day 3 of low carb, but i am.
also i had an awesome birthday. we went to six flags, stayed the night at a cool hotel in berkeley, and went to san francisco the next day. i am officially 28. 28 feels good.
btw- i had to cancel my doc appt., but it's all good... more on that later.
i am also so excited for the holidays (including halloween). can't wait.
family: just so you're aware of our intentions, we will be in utah for thanksgiving and idaho for christmas. can't wait.
also, ashley boice... you have a sweet minivan now... there are no excuses for you guys to not be here. we miss you. remember, cream cheese is not a carb, so we're good to go. Oh!! i just realized that i can have stuffed mushrooms on my diet. yesssss.
sorry i'm rambling right now. there is more to blog, but i gots to get ready for work.

do i have news for you...

but first off, some pictures.
i've never posted any of the very lovely pictures that roberta took while she was here, but here are a couple...

cute, right? roberta is amazing. i'm thinking one of those for our christmas card. (who am i kidding? like i'll get out christmas cards). tyler is almost over his bug... mostly because the project is over. it has sure been a good car though. it's always getting comments from people when we are driving around. one guy even rolled down his window driving next to us and asked if tyler wanted to sell it. haha. he is thinking about it now, cause he wants a nissan frontier. he says they're "sexy". i thought that was so funny because he has never described anything as sexy.

okay, i'm stalling. here's the news:

i made an appointment with the fertility doctor.

in case you're not aware, this was a huge big deal step for me. in fact, as i called to make my appointment i was trying not to burst into tears. after i made the appointment i realized that i've kinda been in a form of denial for a really long time. there are things wrong with my body, and i need to figure out what they are. that was hard to admit to myself. but now that i have, i feel a huge weight lifted off of my shoulders.
when i was driving home, the day i made the appointment i realized another reason that i had put off making the appointment and it made me start crying. i realized that by making the appt. i was allowing myself to hope again, and that is scary. i am learning about myself that i am really good at self preservation. if i am going to get hurt i go on lockdown mode. and i have been in lockdown mode for a couple years now. yowza.
time to face my fears i guess.

so anyway, my appointment is one week from today. three days after my twenty eighth birthday (which is on friday). i feel excited and anxious to get started.
also, if anyone has any advice  would love to hear it. i want to go into it with some idea of what to say and what to ask. etc. so let me know if you have any words of wisdom.

i have more to update, but this keyboard is being slow and driving me crazy, so i'll do it later.

long time no blog eh?

we have a lot to catch up on so excuse the rambling...

for starters, i'm doing a lot better than i was in the last post. i was sure in a big funk for 2 months though. apologies to anyone that i was around, i know i was awful.

for seconders, i had my 10 yr high school reunion at the end of june. it was so fun. the most fun of all was getting to spend time with julie and kirsti. when we went to church in tahoe together.. kirsti and i were holding hands during sacrament and i fully started crying because we were both leaving after church and i missed her already.

like a day after that ty and i went to idaho for the fourth of july. super fun, and always good to be back in rexburg. i miss taco time. (and all our family of course-ha).

just this last weekend my in-laws came to visit. yay! we were so excited for them to come and we had such a fun time with them. among other things, we went to a baseball game, to tahoe, to lots of yummy restaurants, were shot by berta's camera, and went to see dinner for schmucks. steve carrell is so stinking funny. i love going to see funny movies with roberta for some reason. i think its because we are always both laughing so hard together.

am i boring you yet with my journal entry? sorry.

oh yeah!! i forgot a big thing... we came home from idaho and bought a big huge tv. it's awesome. and, drum roll please.... we are getting cable tomorrow for the first time in our marriage. i'm almost sad about it. almost. it kinda feels like we're selling out. i guess i'll let the kardashians comfort me :)

some random shout outs...

glor and heathie: for some reason when i saw the pics of the two of you on heather's blog my chest puffed up with pride that i had claim on you both as my sisters. i just thought i'd let you know. oh and glor.. i was watching the proposal today and laughing out loud and missing you. boop boop boop. (that's the sound of him patting her butt).

sara: i'm real jealous of switzerland. real. let's talk on the phone again soon... you never know, i may just answer. haha.

julie: i think you're an amazing seamstress, and i might try to hire you as my own. also, the library didn't have the outlander series, but they did have the first one of the lord byron series so i got it. have you read those? are they good? by the way, i never told you how much i loved it when you emailed me that book review. i think we should have an email book club. ps- dottie misses gwen.

kirsti: i can't shout out those two and not you. holla. but for reals i was pondering life in the shower the other day and i was thinking how incredibly grateful i am for you in my life. i've finally found the love of a lifetime. (i thought you'd like that lyric because it's soft rock- your favorite).

shauna: you don't get a shout out because i texted you so many times the other day. i was in the car with ty while we were texting and he finally said, 'ugghhh, will you end the conversation already??' haha.

ginny: yeah you heard me. you are my crush too.

roberta: those pictures are amazing!!! i can't wait to see the rest! you are so talented it blows me away. also the morning you left, dottie went running to your room, and when i came around the corner to look in she was sitting on your made bed staring. then she proceeded to check every room upstairs and then ran to check all downstairs and even outside. so sad. she misses her gwamma.

ashley boice: the picture of rob ninja kicking ollie is the best thing i've ever seen. i miss you. do you still have no car to come visit??

step up 3: i just know i'm gonna love you. in fact i already do. i love you. your trailer makes me giddy with excitement. see you in a couple days. xoxo

okay i think my throat is hoarse from all the shouting. sorry i've been mia everyone. i'm officially out of my funk.

i am a freaking mess, and this post is my freaking therapy session

i think i am in the middle of a full mind and body meltdown.
so why not blog about it?
i'm hoping that this will help me get out some of the emotion that i'm supressing, so it can stop manifesting itself in physical ways.
i'm not saying that my migraine/dizziness/nasuea is all in my head, i just think it might have something to do with all the stress trapped in my body. but that''s just a theory.
i didn't even realize i had so much emotion tucked away until i was talking to heather today and started to tell her that i hadn't dealt with saying goodbye to the house yet, because each time i've left in the last couple of weeks, i've known that i was going back.
i started to tell her this, but was interrupted by a sob coming out of my mouth.
and now my typing was just interrupted by some more sobs.....
.........................................................................................................................................
i just took a five minute sobbing break, so i guess blogging is in fact helping me release emotion.
i know i'm being totally depressing right now, so you can skip this post if you want.
WARNING: not for fair weather friends.
i must mention that during my sob break dottie came over and hugged me across my chest. she laid there and as i continued to cry, she started whining and then tried to lick the tears off my face. i swear she is the love of my life.
anyway, this weekend will be the last time at the house.
so i know this is probably a pity party that i'm having right now, and that some of you are thinking, 'big deal, it's just a house'. but it's not just a house, so lay off me.
most (27 year old) people would not be that phased by their childhood house being sold, but most people also weren't best friends with both their parents when they were a teenager. and most people have some other physical connection to their mom besides the house that she used to live in. like i said... pity party. you're all invited.
not to mention the fact that i'm going to miss my dad. i only got him for six months... but it was great while it lasted. it's his birthday today you know. happy birthday dad, i love you.

 okay, i feel super drained right now... peace out.

one last parting thought:
the movie 'fame' is really boring. i was quite dissapointed. i should have gotten 'valentine's day' instead :(

a non-generic update

my heart feels full right now. (probably cause i'm listening to church music... i'm so mushy).

anyway, did you know that there is a world renown fertility specialist that lives in reno?
did you know that he is mormon?
he has an office in reno, orem, and hawaii. he opened the one in hawaii to accomodate all the people that were coming to see him from asia.
coincidence?
i have had several people tell me about him, but just found out from this (super cool) lady today that he is in her ward, and got her pregnant. that sounded wrong. he helped her to be able to conceive. (that's better)
i am working up the courage to make an appointment.

also did you know that i don't drink diet coke anymore?
i wasn't trying to quit or anything, but a couple of months ago it was like a switch flipped, and i just stopped. weird right?
i have also been losing weight.
i weigh less than i have in a couple years.
i still have a little ways to my goal, but i am on the right track.
every morning i go to seminary, then straight to the gym for an hour to an hour and a half, then home to shower before work.
it's a great little schedule and i feel so good. granted i tend to pass out at about 8pm, but my bed is super cozy so i don't mind.

so what i'm trying to say is that i'm in a really good place right now.
it's called reno.
hahaha- that was a joke.

the haps on the craps

after checking it for the umpteenth time, tyler said "update your blog you butthole". so i figured it was time.

lots of good great stuff is going on, plus one really sad thing.

i'll discuss the sad thing first.

the tahoe house, aka the house i grew up in, aka my last connection to my mom, has been sold and must be vacated by june 24th.

when i got my dad's family email about it i started sobbing at work.

who knew it would hit me that hard.

i am super sad, and it's going to be really hard... but as tyler pointed out, i have my mom in each of my sisters, not just in that house. my goal is to buy it one day. i love that house.

on to a happy thing...

...which is that if we are eeeeevvvveeeerrrr able to reproduce, i think said offspring will have really pretty blue eyes.

also a happy thing:

seminary is over in 2.5 weeks. i won't even know what to do with all my free time from 5:30 to 7:30! oh right... i'll be sleeping.

great news:

i love my job.

even better news:

gloria is coming to visit.

but the best news:

we are teaching dottie how to do backflips.

(you know you're impressed)

on a sidenote:

did you know that there are dogs on you tube that say 'i love you'?

tyler and grandma walking downtown.

speaking of downtown...

ty and i went to there on saturday night to people watch and walk dottie. it was so fun. i love reno. such a cool town... who knew? they have in the middle of downtown a big cement area (which is an ice skating rink in the winter and serves as the rink for the girls roller derby in the summer), filled with skateboarders and ramps/rails etc. that a local skate shop hauls down for the night. how cool is that? then you walk a block over and it's the baseball stadium with the minor league reno aces playing to a packed stadium, which stadium is connected to a couple bars and restaurants.

then you turn the corner and you have the gentleman's club... oh wait. scratch that part.

actually it really is there though, and as we were walking by with dottie, some drunk guy leaned over the railing as he was headed in and said to dottie, "what the hell are you doing here?"

haha. dog humor.

speaking of dogs. this is sammy, kenny's dog that we watched for a couple days. couldn't you just eat him up? he is sleeping on tyler's dirty clothes, which tyler so generously left on the floor for him.

okay, update complete.

ramblings

i don't have one thing to blog about, i have many things to blog about so (surprise) i'm gonna list it out...

1. as i type this tyler has dottie cradled in is arms in a sweet embrace and is giving her kisses while she makes little groans. she is serious competition for me.

2. speaking of tyler you should go read his blog. he is reallly into blogging right now. he stayed up until like 2:30 the other morning getting all his settings and layout tweaked. just a little warning... before you click on it turn down your volume, cause chances are punk will start blaring at you.

3. the salon is going sooosooo good. i love it. i love the people that work there, and i am making good money already, which means that when i get busy i'll be making a whole mess of money. i've never really been driven to make money before, but why not right?

4. oh my... i sure hope none of you were quick to read the draft of this post that was just published. let me splain: tyler read over my shoulder #1 on this list and tried to get me to delete it... i said no way... he said delete it now, blah blah blah... i said you think #1 is bad look at this one. i then proceeded to type something reaaallly inappropriate to make tyler laugh. at which point he stole the laptop and published the post while i chased him around the island in the kitchen for 5 minutes screaming how not funny this was and that my mission president is probably reading it. (not really, but anyone reading it would have been pretty mortifying). long story short... i am not deleting #1.

-well, now that my heartrate has slowed back down from that little episode, on to number

5. my grandma is staying with us for the week and my heart is full of love for her. it's so hard to watch people get so old. i have really felt the weight of my mom wanting me/my family to love and take care of her mom for her, since she can't be here to do it herself. and i am so proud of my dad and have gained a new level of love for him for taking grandma into his home and treating her like his own mother. not to mention kathi. thank you kathi for loving and taking care of our grandma. also, how did i never notice how similar i am to grandma? it's like i got every one of her genes. also, she is sooo funny. she can barely remember names and places anymore, yet is cracking us up with her wit. she is so quick. you should hear her and tyler banter back and forth... she keeps up with every one of his teasings. tyler i'm sure will be posting some pictures soon of our adventures with g-ma. if not i guess i'll get my lazy butt to do it.

6. there should be a job called "dog commentator", and tyler and i should both have that job. we are really good at making commentary on what dogs are thinking and saying. most of our dogs can't pronounce their R's, but a select few talk in the grey poupon voice. we are really big dorks.

umm, i'll stop there, with hopefully another update in the near future.

i feel like a million bucks

spring is in the air and i am excited for life.

do you know what i heard when i woke up this morning?
a bird chirping outside the window.
you know what else i heard?
nothing.
you know what i heard after laying there thinking/waking up for an hour?
nothing.

i am embracing my childless life for all that it's worth. that's the epiphany i've had today.
i straggled out of bed after laying there forever, got up to take a bubble bath / shower combo with my latest allure, gave myself a haircut, a mani pedi, went for a long drive with ty and now i am watching clueless and blogging. i guess it's not too bad not having kids.

also adding to my inspiration was walking around the UNR campus with tyler today. it is a beautiful blue sky day, and we were in the area, so we parked and took a little walk.
ohhh, i want to go back to school so bad!
think big brick buildings, ivy, cool architecture, fountains, stadiums, planetariums, bookstores, etc.
yes please.

i am thinking that i will start this fall. by then i'll hopefully have a decent hair clientel built up, and i can work a couple days a week, and then go full time at school. i mean, i already have two years done. i'm halfway there!

here's my grand plan...
i want to double major in english and social work, and minor in spanish.

to which tyler responded that he wants to be an astronaut and a nascar driver- ha.

but why not, right? i got the smarts. and i know tyler will be so proud of me when i graduate. he'll totally take every opportunity to tell anyone my accomplishments. he ALWAYS tells people that i'm writing a book, even though he is forbidden to do so. he's just so proud he can't help himself.

by the way, the book is going super well, and it is the reason i have been neglecting this blog.

also by the way, i start at maza salon on tuesday, and i'm real excited.

last by the way, i totally stood up to my old boss to get commissions owed to me, and faced my biggest fears, and i'm so proud of myself.
i'm an adult! ta da!

life goes on

what's up ladies and gents.
here's what's going on in my world:

1. i love vampire weekend. plain and simple. (it's a band)
2. speaking of vampires, did you see the eclipse trailer?? yes please. can't wait.
3. let me tell you about a couple of promising leads ty and i found on craigslist.
the first one said they needed a hair and makeup artist (check), must be up to date with current trends (check), positive and enthusiastic (check), open minded (uhhh, check), and comfortable with the adult film industry environment. yeah.... pass.
number two was looking for someone with a fun and outgoing personality (that's my middle name), energetic and self motivated (sounds good), to dress up and wave at cars in a statue of liberty costume for liberty tax. ummm.... no thanks.
4. fyi, i have decided i want to do hair and have already met with a couple salons (thanks nicole c. for your help!), and have an appt. to meet with another one, so things are going good on that front, and i am really excited to be doing hair again. i feel totally refreshed from my 3 month break of it, and should be getting my NV license in the mail any day now.
5.we are going up to tahoe today for one or two nights to battle our feelings of homesickness (we were sad when we got back from our rexburg trip). i can't wait for tahoe donut, mcdonlads breakfast with the attic, watching movies on dad and kathi's new 52 inch tv, and of course, being cozy.

okay, that's the update for now. i feel like i am forgetting something. oh well.

oh my... what an up and down long weekend i've had

i have so much to blog about.

first and foremost, is that i just got fired. i know, right? they didn't have a reason for me (which makes sense seeing as i've never done anything wrong), but i'm pretty sure i just got lumped in with my boss who got fired last week. the thing that really pisses me off is that they waited a week to fire me after her, and i know it's so that i could answer all the new property manager's questions about where everything was, the status of crap, etc.... here's how i'm feeling about my firing:

1. i am relieved that i don't have to work today (haha)
2. i am feeling indignant because i was a good employee (obviously)
3. the work environment was getting yucky and the boss is a really horrible person to work for in general so it's kind of a relief to not have to be in that environment.
4. super shell shocked... i keep thinking, i can't believe i got fired.
5. worried about what i'm going to do next.
6. excited for what i'm going to do next.
7. i feel like this is meant to be for some reason. maybe i'll finish my book sooner than i thought.
8. thank goodness i have a sugar daddy.

overall, i know that even though i might be depressed and hurt for a few days, heavenly father always always takes care of me. so i've got that going for me.

okay, on to other things...

we went to rexburg this weekend. it was such a good trip. i cannot emphasize enough how much i love the boice family. the trip made me want to move in with roberta and bob and never leave their house. i feel like that's not a normal response to one's in-laws, but i have really good ones.
the official reason for the trip was to do taxes, which we did. don't get me started on taxes. don't even get me started. is it me, or is america set up to punish you for being successful? i cannot believe how much money the government rakes in every year. who are they held accountable to??? where is all that freaking money going??? i am disgusted. do you know that they picked a number (right at the point of being succesful) and if you make more than that, you pay 10 PERCENT MORE on every dollar? it's like what's the point? why try to make your business succesful if it all goes to nasa, nukes, and people's welfare checks. ugh. i want to file for unemployment just so i can start taking some back. sorry, enough tax talk.

a highlight of the trip was getting to see my kirsti. oh how i love her. also, navy is quite possibly the funniest little girl ever. it wouldn't do her justice to describe her, you have to experience it first hand.

okay, one last thing (even though there's more stuff, but i feel drained).
tyler was cleaning the carpets in this super nice huge house last week, and he saw a bowl of candy hearts. the guy was in the other room, so he figured it was okay if he snuck one, so he popped one in his mouth... only to discover that they were wooden! they were a decoration.! haha. i laughed and laughed when he told me that.

okay, that's all for now. i'll keep it updated. and i'll also keep it real. those are my promises to you :)

cameron frye... this one's for you

in this instance cameron frye is kelly.
thought you would like this.... since you haven't seen anything good today.
skywalker in 2012.

nic's sick pics

both sick and pic can be taken as double meanings. get it?
so i'm super sick. i haven't been this sick in a long time. i have been bed ridden for 48+ hours (minus teaching seminary... yeah, i'm hard core).
anyway, i thought i'd share some of my sick bed movie reccomendations, seeing as if there is one thing i am an authority on, it's movies. well, movies and saturday night live. those are my areas of expertise. i have invested ALOT of time in these two things. just be thankful that you are not with me in person or you would have to listen to me quoting said movies. here goes:

1. love story.

 if you want to really love your husband, and you want to really cry your eyes out, this is the way to do it. bonus: ryan o'neil and ali mcgraw are both super hot... and their witty banter is unparalleled.

2. billy the kid (documentary).

if you read extremely loud and incredibly close, and loved it... then you need to watch this. it will make you laugh and want to cry at the same time.

3. thoroughly modern millie.

if you're in the mood for a little song and dance a la julie andrews, this is fun for the whole family.

4. far and away.

one of my all time favorites. love is not a strong enough word. i luff it. i lurve it. (that's from annie hall by the way, another one of my favorites). anywho, if you're all weirded out by tomkat and scientology etc., this movie will take you back to being super charmed by and in love with tom cruise. he and nicole kidman called it their 'honeymoon movie' because they made it together right after they were married. awwwwe.

and last but certainly not least...

5. rushmore.

what can i say about this movie? it makes my heart feel full. it makes my mind feel smarter. it makes me want to create. for some reason i really see myself in max fisher. i can't decide if that's a good thing or a bad thing. just one quote.... "what are you, a lawyer?"

oh, i love it.

see you on the flip side.

happy valentime's / birth day!

and yes, i know that i misspelled valentine's day. tyler pronounces it valentime's day no matter how many times i correct him. he even spells it that way. don't ask me.

yesterday was tyler's birthday, which you should know unless you've been living under a rock. just kidding. you probably didn't know, and that's okay. he turned 29. time flies.

i thought i'd say a few nice things about him as his present. (i didn't even get him a card. i know, right?)

here goes:
tyler is really cool, and he has really big muscles, and golden locks of hair, and really pretty blue eyes, and the cutest smile ever (the corners of his mouth always look just a little turned up).
also, he is super talented at so many things, he doesn't embarass me, and he is the hardest worker i've ever met.
he is my best friend. we can catch each others eye and burst out laughing, or say something in a certain way and make the other crack up. he takes care of me when i'm sick, and when i'm really stressed out and anxious, he tells me everything is going to be alright.
he is never ever ever boring. he is endlessly entertaining. even when we are fighting, it's with flair. and flare. both are fitting descriptions.
he talks to dottie in baby voice and i love it.
he is definitly one of a kind.
thank goodness.

ps- roberta, you should have seen his face light up when he saw your blog post about him. he felt so special.

pps- if you'd like to give tyler a present as well, you may leave him a comment wishing him a happy birthday. it will make him most happy. it also never hurts to comment on his muscles... he really likes that too.

ppss- for some reason this post won't let me put on a picture. c'est la vie.

fresh from an anxiety attack, and feeling fine

all of a sudden i feel really good. feeling really good is feeling really welcome, because i have been feeling really anxious. how's that for a sentence?

kelly mentioned it on her blog, but it bears repeating. she fell over backwards (and i'm talking straight over, onto her back, hitting her head and elbows, kind of fell) on the sidewalk by the southwest skycap at the reno airport. i cannot emphasize enough that this was the funniest thing i have ever seen. i am laughing right now just thinking about it. you know when you think of something and start laughing out loud no matter where you are? i did that about 20 times yesterday, whenever i would picture her falling in my head. the best part was, she was just standing there... she didn't trip, stumble, nothing. she just fell over. also, there were lots of people around, one of which yelled out, "oh sh**... is she alright?"

also, we got another call to meet with the stake presidency last week. we were like, oohhhh boy. luckily it wasn't for me this time. tyler is now the first counselor in the elders quorom presidency. i think he'll do really good cause he is such a hard worker, and there is ALOT of hard work to be done here. there's over 90 prospective elders in our ward boundaries. the field is white...

another cool expereince was getting set apart on sunday. the stake presidency was all there to set apart the new elders quorom, and then the first counselor (the one who we met with when i got called as the seminary teacher) stayed and set me apart. it was just him, tyler, and me in the room, and it was a pretty cool experience. he said in the blessing (among lots of things that i can't remember), that although i may feel at times like my teaching is not getting through or having an impact, that specific phrases/lessons/stories that i teach will stay with these kids and affect their lives in the years to come, changing generations. it makes me kinda choked up as i'm typing it. i feel like a missionary again, except without the sucky parts this time. haha. when he finished the blessing he told tyler and i that he usually just says amen and shakes hands and that's that, but that he wanted to share more with us. he talked about the glimpse he got of tyler and i during the blessing, and the things that are in store for us, etc. he was choked up talking about it, and tyler and i were also. it was a sweet spirit. the church is true my friends.

can i just say that i love my sisters? they are amazing and i admire them so much. i have my whole life. do you know that you three? i have idolized you since before i knew what the word idolized meant. i could not ask for three better examples, or three better friends, or counselors, or surrogate mothers, etc. you guys are the bomb.

this post is getting pretty intense again, so how bout we lighten things up? we (dad, kathi, kelly, and i) were in a thrift store on saturday and a guy saw dad's byu sweatshirt that he was wearing. i was across the store, but i heard the guy say, "do you know what the mormons say when they talk about reno? it's so close to hell you can see sparks!"
*for those of you who don't get that joke fully, sparks is the town that borders reno on the north. get it?

warning: i'm feeling a little .... i can't think of a synonym for intense (but i can't say intense cause it's in the first sentence of the post)

i had the most intense dream about my mom the other night. the weird part was, she was driving me INSANE. she was like, bugging me about everything, involved in every detail in my life, and she wouldn't give me one second of breathing room. at one point i stormed out of the house to go running, just to escape from her, and she jumped on a bike and started following me down the street.
i literally felt like i was losing my mind.
the dream and the emotions of it were so intense that it actually woke me up. i couldn't go back to sleep, because i was thinking about why in the world i would have a dream like that about my mom, when in reality i miss her so much. i woke tyler up to tell him about it, and we decided that it was because that is how involved she must still be in my life... which led me to remember two things.
1). in the blessing my mission president gave me the day after my mom died he said that she is able to be with me more now than she was ever able to be with me while she was alive.
and 2). i realized that throughout the whole dream, i never actually saw her. weird right? i didn't even think about it in the dream because her presence was so strong... but i never got a visual.
ps- i had this dream the day before the anniversary of her death. 6 years. i can't believe it's been so long.

aaaanyways....
that's enough crazy dream talk for now.

on a lighter note,
i don't really have anything light to say right now actually.

but guess what? i was at lunch with my boss (she's a couple years younger than me and super cool), and out of nowhere she asks me what time i go to church. we haven't really talked about anything church related or religious, other than that i am teaching an early morning class, so i'm tired, and that i'm mormon. other than that, it hasn't come up. so i was like, 'on sunday?' i didn't understand what she was asking at first... but i figured it out and told her 1 oclock. then she says, 'i want to go to church with you.' isn't that just beautiful? i would have never ever thought she would say that.
as i drove home that night my heart just felt full of love for life. i soooo know that we were supposed to move to reno. i feel really blessed.

one more again

1. seminary is awesome. really really good. i totally love the class, and am getting over my nervousness every morning. however, i am noticing a pattern with my days as far as that goes...
i wake up (that's going pretty good by the way) and go to seminary, and i'm feeling great. after my lesson, i still feel great, and like it went well. but then throughout the course of the day i start to doubt myself... and by the time i am home at night and preparing my lesson for the next day, i feel like i am a worthless excuse for a teacher. [insert extreme humility]. i am reeeaaaalllly feeling the weight of the responsibility that i have to teach these kids. so, i guess that's good, but i could do without the anxiety attacks every night.
i think i just need a spiritual confirmation that i really am the one that is supposed to be teaching the class (which i am doubting every day...).

2. on a lighter note, i am very excited for kelly to come in 1.5 weeks to visit for the weekend. we plan on eating delicious food and thrifting.... and giggling... and singing accapella harmonies to songs like "alone" by heart.

3. i am so proud of my mother-in-law, who has been asked to travel with, and take pictures for, a PBS show. i married into such a talented family, it blows my mind.

4. tyler's talent is bossing.

5. just kidding.

6. i talked to kirsti today and we are putting ourselves on a strict workout regime for the next five months in preperation for our 10 year high school reunion. our hope is that being accountable to each other will help us stay on track. cause if there is one thing that kirsti and i do for each other, it's keep each other in line.... [insert sarcasm]

7. i feel like i'm being super blessed. i always feel like that, but even more so lately. for instance... through my job, i met a lady who has published over 10 novels. she hasn't written anything in a couple years, but she is back writing and is currently working on a young adult novel. [insert fate]. people: she has an editor... and a publisher... and author friends... and was really excited when i told her i'm writing a book. she said we'll have to get together. like seriously, blessings fall into my lap.

8. have i mentioned yet that dana carvey is coming to town? one night only, valentine's day, at the nugget... and guess who's going??? dad, kathi. tyler, and myself! well isn't that special. [insert the church lady's voice].

9. snoop dogg was in town last sunday night doing a show, but my dad didn't get the tickets in time.

10. kidding again.

okay, update complete.

updates ya'll

1. yesterday was mine and tyler's 4 year anniversary. hooray for us. we usually go somewhere, but this time we just stayed home. it was actually a pretty perfect day. we just spent all day together and hung out... went out for meals.... decided against seeing a movie and just got a red box and some ice cream... and ty was real sweet.. (like when we were dating sweet, which is rare).

2. my job is going really well... i am now working in the office as a leasing agent in addition to cleaning. what can i say? i move up the ranks pretty quickly.

3. i have come down from the shock of my calling, and now i am really excited. i don't start until monday, but i went this morning to meet them, and get the manual and what not. i think the current/ex teacher was a little miffed that he is not going to be teaching anymore. and i think he's a little worried about the job i'm going to do. that is if he actually meant all those little comments he made- ha. he obviously doesn't realize that i'm the bomb.

4. i feel like i love so many people.... but unfortunately none of them live anywhere near me. (excluding my close by family, of course, and tyler of course... i merely meant to say that i seem to be irritated at every human i come in contact with all day long).

5. jimmy kimmel is soooo funny. he has the best intro monologues in the biz.

6. dad and kathi are coming to town tomorrow bright and early for a delicious breakfast out and a full day of garage and estate saleing. can't wait... for breakfast. just kidding, i can't wait for all of it, but let's be honest... i love food.

7. i am so grateful for the invention of ... what would i do without ... ? for those of you who are trying to figure that out i mean the dot dot dot, trailing off, writing phenomena. it's sweeping the nation.

8. kelly sent me the funniest youtube video of a rap-off between voldemort and harry potter. it is so funny. you should try and find it. i know i could find it for you and link to it, but i have neither the time, nor the inclination.
ps- i feel like "rap-off" isn't the correct term, but i cannot for the life of me think of what it really is called. "rap-off" sounds so "white", doesn't it? and here i've always prided myself on my ethnic slang.

9. let's see... what else can i say...
ummm, i think i'm all out of material. so leave me a comment, and i'll get back to you. BEEP.

ooooh boy

i got a new calling.
i knew it was gonna be trouble when a member of the stake presidency wanted to meet with me.
but i never thought it would be this...
early morning seminary teacher.
brutal.
i start in one week.
wish me luck.

resolutions and such

okay, in honor of the new year, i have started to compile a list in my mind of what i want it to be like. i have high hopes for 2010, i really do.

[throat clearing]

1- finish my book. this is of A-1 importance to me.
2- read the book of mormon and new testament, each in their entirety.
3- reach my goal weight. (and no, i'm not telling you what that is).
4- be able to run five miles.... in a row.
5- vacation to either: NYC or a tropical island TBA.
6- reproduce.

if i can accomplish these few simple things i will be set.

on a side note:
i just finished the last harry potter this week. [insert big sigh and smile]. i love it. i love harry, i love ron, i love fred and george, and hermione, and luna, and ginny, and sirius, and hogwarts, and dumbledore, and and and... you get the picture. i'm in love, and i'm going through serious withdrawls now that i'm done with the series. i also had a harry potter movie marathon at the ives' house (where i just was for the baby blessing) and i have watched through movie 5 now, and all i can think about is watching number six... which i intend to get from red box on my way home from work tonight. i can't wait.

that's all for now.
happy new year.