Friday, June 18, 2010

i am a freaking mess, and this post is my freaking therapy session

i think i am in the middle of a full mind and body meltdown.
so why not blog about it?
i'm hoping that this will help me get out some of the emotion that i'm supressing, so it can stop manifesting itself in physical ways.
i'm not saying that my migraine/dizziness/nasuea is all in my head, i just think it might have something to do with all the stress trapped in my body. but that''s just a theory.
i didn't even realize i had so much emotion tucked away until i was talking to heather today and started to tell her that i hadn't dealt with saying goodbye to the house yet, because each time i've left in the last couple of weeks, i've known that i was going back.
i started to tell her this, but was interrupted by a sob coming out of my mouth.
and now my typing was just interrupted by some more sobs.....
.........................................................................................................................................
i just took a five minute sobbing break, so i guess blogging is in fact helping me release emotion.
i know i'm being totally depressing right now, so you can skip this post if you want.
WARNING: not for fair weather friends.
i must mention that during my sob break dottie came over and hugged me across my chest. she laid there and as i continued to cry, she started whining and then tried to lick the tears off my face. i swear she is the love of my life.
anyway, this weekend will be the last time at the house.
so i know this is probably a pity party that i'm having right now, and that some of you are thinking, 'big deal, it's just a house'. but it's not just a house, so lay off me.
most (27 year old) people would not be that phased by their childhood house being sold, but most people also weren't best friends with both their parents when they were a teenager. and most people have some other physical connection to their mom besides the house that she used to live in. like i said... pity party. you're all invited.
not to mention the fact that i'm going to miss my dad. i only got him for six months... but it was great while it lasted. it's his birthday today you know. happy birthday dad, i love you.

 okay, i feel super drained right now... peace out.

one last parting thought:
the movie 'fame' is really boring. i was quite dissapointed. i should have gotten 'valentine's day' instead :(