Sunday, January 02, 2011

i need some love

i think my sister heather said it best on her blog when she said that her mind feels like scrambled eggs. except it's not just my mind it's my emotions too. i am walking a line of sadness/depression and happiness/inspiration.

good things:
1. we had such an amazing christmas. the cabin was amazing. it was a perfect time.
2. i bought myself really good presents.
3. bob and roberta got me (well us... but mainly me) a kindle!!! best present ever. i was speechless. it was their gift to each of the families.
4. our 5 year anniversary is in 2 weeks. i better pick myself up a card.
5. i am officially insured.
6. i ate so much delicious food the past couple weeks.

bad things:
1. the holidays are over and i am depressed. not so much that they're over as that we are gone from our families. i miss my family (real and in law). i need my sisters. i am sad. can someone come visit me please?
2. real life sucks. i am having major gag reflex flare-ups every time i think about the fact that tomorrow morning i will be up for seminary, and then at work all day. gross.
3. i ate sooooo much food, and i feel sick at myself. i seriously can feel all the cream cheese and butter clogging through my arteries, and i think i'm going to have a heart attack at 28.
4. i am a really bad person. can i just show my true colors for a second and admit that i have more repenting to do when i leave church than i do when i get there? it's not my fault... it's all the crazies. i am not very pure in heart. that being said, i think i'm going to do a lesson in seminary tomorrow about what a testimony is and how we bear it, and what is the appropriate length of a comment in relief society.
5. sisters: do you have a nagging depression leading up to January 31st? or is that just me?
6. i am ready to retire. maybe i'll be allowed to after my premature heart attack.

i'll blog more about our wonderful christmas as soon as i have some pictures and a better attitude.

8 comments:

kelly said...

reading this post and heather's makes me aware of how exactly the same our psychosis is. good grief we think too much. yes i will come visit you in a few weeks. many presents will be required. church was hard for me. today was fast sunday and just by skipping breakfast i wanted to murder someone, my head was pounding and i would've left five minutes into it if i didn't have to teach and play piano. ugh

Toilet's Blog said...

wow! by the sounds of things you have a hard knock life. j/k christmas was really fun you are the hit of the party

Mandee said...

I am not a sister but I'm going to answer yes to number 5 anyway. Except my depression lasts well into February. I hate feeling chubby, I hate going to church when it's cold. And I hate snow after Christmas.

heather said...

nicole, i have been telling anyone who will listen all day that i want to fly to one of my sister's houses just for a day!!! I wrote it in my journal today too. I am just so far away. I can't just fly in for a weekend. I am missing tahoe so bad, and I realized it is because I just miss how things used to be. I miss mom. I miss how dad used to be. I think though that heavenly father is working on my heart to remember and using my nostalgia to soften it towards he who will not be named. I keep trying to think of how I can get there before summer. I really want to be there just by myself. and yes we all have the same psychosis. Why????? But like I am telling everyone today as well. I will take it over being a parapalegic or blind, or anything else that is physically painful. I really can't handle physical pain. ha ha. Every day I say I am going to call you , and every day I think, she just won't answer her phone anyway. So you better answer if I call tomorrow. love you. and i feel the same way about cream cheese. Oh my gosh. I bought 10 cubes and those were just for the things that i made. ha ha

.::still blinking::. said...

There are crazies at my church too! My kids are #2 & #3. #1 is reserved for a very special lady, who I like to think is not me. But probably is.

No, it isn't. You can pick #1 out in a crowd.

I am lucky to get to sit behind the piano in primary and text my friends about their fun experiences elsewhere in the building. :)

GRodenberg said...

ok, i was laughing so hard, and called in all my big kids and made them read it. Then they were laughing, and I said, "SEE! THEY get me!" love you and i want you to come here. wait, you teach seminary. i'll have to come there. i miss tahoe and the way things used to be too. but we can make the future just as cozy and fun too, if we all stay close and visit. ps the word verification right now is carapp. that's exactly how i say it!

sarawhat said...

oh my gosh, I know what you mean about testimony meeting. I wish you could have been here for this past one....you would leave wondering if the church were true. haha. people are so crazy. bless their hearts. I don't know if it makes you feel better, but I've been holed up in my house since new years in my bathrobe watching kids movies with Chase. And sometimes doing laundry. And sometimes dishes. It's pretty pathetic. I ignore invites and phone calls to get out of the house because I don't want to get out of my bathrobe. You know? So what I'm saying is....I feel ya. And I want someone to come visit me SO bad who just wants to sit around my house with me and watch chick flicks. That person would be YOU!

ashleyboice said...

I am slowly coming down from all the cream cheese we ate.

I haven't been able to blog about Christmas because I don't want to even think about it being over.

My hair feels so much better...you are amazing.

Anytime I am around you you inspire me...you are beautiful, kind, and funny.

You will get so many blessings from teaching seminary...but they will probably release you if you have a breakdown...jus' sayin'.

I can hear tyler's voice perfectly saying his comment...it's the higher voice he uses. Tylarrr.