schools in, sucka

hot tip: did you know that you can buy 'u can't touch this' on itunes for 69 cents?
i'd get on that if i were you.
that song is kelly's ringtone on my phone.
have you listened to it in awhile? cause i guarantee that it will make your day. there is no way to not be happy when you are listening to that song.
what's even better you ask?
watching the video...

the best part about this is the first comment that someone left on youtube:

"MC Hammer should be a secuirity guard at an art musuem… “Can’t touch this”"

good one uroblaster.

does anyone want to come over and practice these dance moves? cause i am seriously going to learn and practice all of them. i have to catch up to kelly, who is already pretty proficient.

how awesome would it be to go to an aerobics class where they did all 90's dance moves to songs like this? i would freaking love that.

would mc hammer not be the best halloween costume? and have a couple of girls in bike shorts and sports bras with you? or maybe i'm like 20 years too late for that to be funny. haha.

sisters: can't you see heathie's big buns in those bike shorts and sports bra doing those dances? i was laughing so hard imagining that. although, the more i think about it, i think that those images are from my memory, not my imagination. smile, heathie :)

speaking of laughing so hard... watching this reminded me of the in living color skit where tommy davidson spoofed mc hammer. classic. i was dying watching this, while tyler rolled his eyes at me. maybe you have to grow up watching in living color??

have a good day!

strike that, reverse it.

        i didn't end up taking a break from clomid.
        right after i posted that i got a stern talking to from ms. ashley boice, giving me some tough love. now friends and family, don't read this and think you're allowed to give me tough love... nine times out of ten, i don't respond well. but in this instance it was needed, and it was inspired. i love love ashley. have i mentioned that like a million times before?
        anyway, at the end of the talk she made me promise to at least talk to the doctor about it before i decided for sure. and then the coolest thing happened. let me back up- the main three things that i was stressed about were, a. money, b. needing to be back on metformin, but the doc still wanted me to be retested first, and c. she was going to double my dose of clomid... and if it was double of the first month- yikes. so, after i talked to ashley my doctor's nurse called, and without me saying anything said, a. that she wanted me to come in for a sonogram to make sure i was ready for round two free of charge, b. put me immediately back on metformin, and c. keep me at the same level of clomid another month. inspired much?
        so long story short... i'm back on metformin and i feel soooo good about that. you know how you just know your body? i know i needed that. also, i have already taken my second round of clomid (last week), and i am feeling really good. i'm working out, my anxiety is way down, and i haven't gained any weight (besides the like three pounds that i gained since the beginning). however my hot flashes are soooooo bad this round. it is seriously the worst. if i had never had them i would think, what could possibly be so bad about a hot flash? but lemme tell you, it is the worst. it's almost a flu feeling. that super hot, then cold, then hot, full body flush... no flush isn't a big enough word. more like tidal wave. sweaty upper lip, naseous, can't sleep because you are so uncomfortable.... you get the picture. yuck. but that has started to calm down a bit.
       
         okay, but here is my advice for you:
do not rent mean girls 2 from red box. big mistake.
instead, watch on netflix, ten things i hate about you- the abcfamily tv show. so so funny. like i literally want to blog quotes from it. you think at first it's going to be super cheesy lame (like mean girls 2), but the writing is actually really funny and witty. the guy that plays cameron is hilarious. okay, i have to blog just one quote.
        the girl who plays kat is trying to make her volvo a bio-diesel, so she is using the shop at school, which is full of boys who thinks she can't do it. the teacher says some real condescending/sexist stuff to her, and she goes, "i'm sorry is this shop or 1952?". then when all the guys are making bets, they are all betting against her, which will mess up the money pool, so she says she'll bet on herself.... to which the guy responds, "careful, you could buy a lot of tampons with that money".
         i am laughing so hard right now typing these out. you are probably not laughing at all. but i am really laughing. aaaaahhhh, good times.
         i feel like kelly is probably shaking her head reading this, cause she gets so mad when i try to tell her about shows. but if you know me, you know that telling people about shows and funny lines is my number one favorite thing to do.
        okay, i have to go, cause i really have to finish watching castle. (one time castle was so good that i did a whole scene for tyler.... and if you're not watching castle, you should be..... start at season one).

in case you didn't hear, i'm not pregnant. i repeat, not pregnant.

i'm okay. i really am.
however, i think that i am going to take a month or two off from clomid and doctor's appointments. if i didn't then i would be starting clomid tomorrow... and it would be double the dosage of last month.
that makes me have an anxiety attack just thinking about it. i am just having major major anxiety right now.... and kelly's asleep so i can't talk to her about it, and i feel real weird.

i don't know what happened. i was feeling so good while we were listening to conference. i love general conference. i love how it makes me feel. but i've been on a downward spiral since it finished.
i feel like maybe i should just go to bed... but honestly i've been sleeping like, all day. i can usually never take naps, but i took like a 3 hour one yesterday after work, and then 2 different ones today. and i'm sleeping in late. i just feel so tired. or maybe depressed?
but it's all good, cause i've got back up plans. my back up plan involves lots and lots of gym time. i just want to run and run and run, until i'm too tired to have anxiety.
i think after a month off of the crazy pills, i will be in a good place again, and then we can do round two. also i really think that i need to get back on metformin, so i'm going to work on that.

i feel like this post is all over the place, but maybe my mind is all over the place. i think i just need a good cry. i haven't cried since i found out that i wasn't pregnant. i think maybe i put the lock down on my emotions. i kind of had to because right after i found out, i had to go to work all day. the only time i got teary eyed was when one of the girls i work with, senicia, (who i love) brought me in the hugest arrangment of the most beautiful flowers in a vase. and a big costco muffin. i was in the middle of curling a girl's hair, and was racking my brain trying to figure out how she even knew, because i hadn't told anyone at work anything. she told me she had just read it on facebook. she said she was sorry and that she loved me, and not to give up. i have seriously never received so many, or such beautiful flowers from anyone- including my husband. is that the sweetest thing you have ever heard? that's the kind of person that i want to be.

on a serious note (cause this post is so lighthearted- ha), can i just say how much i love the gospel and this church. what would i do without it? i have no doubt in my mind of the reality of my heavenly father and jesus christ, and that they love me, and are with me throughout this ordeal. seriously, no doubt. not even a little. what did it say in that one talk about looking back on trials? i'm pretty sure it was elder uchtdorf, and it was something about looking back on the trial with a bittersweet fondness, but that's not right. now it's gonna bug me, so i have to look it up. one sec....
found it:
         "I remember this time with a sort of sad fondness. While I would not be eager to relive those days of trial and trouble, I have little doubt that the lessons I learned were a necessary preparation for future opportunity. Now, many years later, I know this for a certainty: it is often in the trial of adversity that we learn those most critical lessons that form our character and shape our destiny."


that's from uchtdorf's talk, two principles for any economy. i had to write tyler's sacrament talk from that talk. haha. but obviously i learned a little something while doing it.
anyway, back to what i was saying... i feel like this is a bittersweet time. it is so so hard, not gonna lie. i feel crazy. i feel anxious. i feel sad. i feel fat. i feel tired. i feel discouraged. i feel broken.
but i also feel like i am being tutored by the spirit. i feel like school is in session, you know what i mean? i am being taught. i am being humbled. i am being refined. and i cannot be anything but grateful for all of my blessings. any trials that we go through bring us closer to christ, who suffered ALL things. everything.
one of my favorite sections of scripture is d&c 122.
       
   "know thou, my son, that all these things shall give thee experience, and shall be for thy good. the son of man hath descended below them all. art thou geater than he?"

that line always gets me. art thou greater than he?
anyway, i feel better now. thanks for letting me talk it out guys.
i better go to bed. i've only gotten 12 hours of sleep today :)