times they are a changin'

okay, so since it's the first thing everyone asks me.... i don't know if i'm pregnant yet. i can take a pregnancy test in a week. i kinda feel like i am, but that is dumb to admit out loud. but i really kinda do. i am trying to allow myself to be hopeful.... but trying not to get my hopes up. there's a difference.

also in big news, i asked to be released from seminary. it was so so hard for me to do... and i feel like i really had to be knocked down to the point where i would even do it, but now that it's done i feel such a weight lifted off of my shoulders. and i am getting some much needed rest. i really wouldn't have had the courage to do it if not for terri bell. matt and julie flew in a week ago saturday and spent the night. on sunday terri and gary came to pick them up and ended up staying for a couple of hours and hanging out. i was making cookies and terri came in the kitchen to talk to me and i just started sobbing, and poured out everything to her. she was so wonderful and gave me like a 2 hour pep talk, and said she wasn't leaving until we called whoever we needed to, to get me released from my calling. she said that after my mission she told me she would be my mom, but that she hadn't been able to make good on it, and she was going to now. and boy did she ever. i really felt like she just swooped into my house like a messenger from heaven, and that she was standing in place as my mom and telling me everything that i needed to hear. thank you terri!

and can i just say how much i love julie? i miss you real bad julie. i want you to come visit again. julie is like the most supportive friend in the world. and she knows and loves my handwriting... which makes me feel really special. and i really love her dog and husband. and she taught tyler how to sew. and she sewed up the holes in my skirt. she is just the best.

also in big news, in one week i will be going down to part time at work. i can't wait. so instead of working tues-sat. i will only work thursday, friday, and saturday. i just really needed to simplify my life. i was so tired, i can't even express. in fact the day i asked to be released i had tyler give me a blessing (cause i was a mess, big time, and cried all day).... and in it he said like 3-4 different times, your body needs rest... you need to rest. yes please. so that's exactly what i've been doing. all i want to do is sleep and eat. like i would love to just get back in bed right now and sleep all day. that sounds delicious. alas, i need to exercise. and i am going to make myself do it today.... even though i really just want to lay down.

in horrible news, tyler says that as soon as i find out i'm pregnant, no more diet coke. [picture a lone tear drop running down my face]. i say, maybe just a little??? he says, if i eat healthy then our baby will be in a wheelchair until it's eight, but then be able to walk. but if i sneak cheetos and diet coke, that it will be in a wheelchair for life. he says i can eat fruit and carrots. i say, i have a feeling i'm gonna be doing some sneaking.